Presently, I live in a lovely apartment building with a handful of ever-changing tenants. Well, what luck for me! Because one of the newest tenants claims to be the embodiment of God.
I kid not. These days, right here in my village, in my building, for heaven's sake, God comes in the form of a pretty, married, 30-year-old, home-schooling mom of two with a name as good as any folk singer, or porn star, can give: Summer Dawn.
Okay, I'm not the one saying she's God. She is. Seriously. She is. On her blog where she regularly posts and carefully catalogs direct quotes from God himself, she states "I am the flesh that speaks God's Words and translates the Prophecies ... I am the embodiment of God on earth." Wow. What luck.
It might surprise you that I am not a terrible skeptic.
I'm as eager a seeker as any, curious and open-minded enough to read Adyashanti; to have attended Mormon services, study the bible with Jehovah's Witnesses no less (they are not what you might think). I'm a 12-stepper of sorts, a baptized and once faithful Episcopalian, and I was raised by a confirmed athiest dad. It's not for me to jude anyone's path to God, or not, as the case may be. Rather than judge, I prefer to investigate! With God possibly being channeled right down the hall, it appeared that my search just got shorter.
I begin to investigate and am instantly struck by something odd in her short bio. She writes "patiently I have waited until my age became thirty and I was ready to stand before the people to deliver the Words and Teachings of God." "Until my age became thirty" is just a decidedly weird use of the passive voice. But hey ... it's FREE! No PayPal buttons requesting donations. No products to be sold. So maybe this is legit.
I notice, but don't care, that there is no mention of uncle Jesus in the hundreds of "stanzas" from "books" of God quotes. What I do care about and what I need to believe is that my God is grammatical.
Does God really channel bad grammar and syntax? ("Burried deep within the earth lies ancient civilizations.") Okay, that would be lie, thank you very much. ("One must come to understand the truth in themselves... .") Okay, that would be in himself or in herself.) Fergodsake! Seriously?
If what I have to look forward to after I drop dead is bad grammar, I'm in deep doo doo. It is probably just snarky to carry on in paradise with a corrective pen in tow and a pedantic, supercilious attitude about God's grammar.
Not that I am the most grammatical person in Panama, or that I have any really great understanding of proper punctuation. But then, folks, I am not claiming to be the direct conduit for the word of God. Geezie.
I admit, I am disappointed. After all, I was hoping that now I could put down my bible and my Kindle, knowing that God, and all his or her wisdom (and excellent grammar), was near at hand, right down the hall, as close as my next cup of coffee.
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